Me: I know I rarely ask you for anything but can you please print this one page?
My Printer: Who are you? Print? What are you talking about man, I'm a doorstop!
-= much cajoling, swearing on my part, restarting on the printer's part later =-
My Printer: Ok, here's 3 copies because they were stuffed in some queue somewhere and, oh I don't know, just felt like munching on some trees.
I f-ing hate printers.